I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
