we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
