The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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