Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize