i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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