1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
