She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize