I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
