Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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