it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
