woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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