you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
