I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
His nipple licking is glorious
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