the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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