the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
