I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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