You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize