the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
