she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
