check it out our google latitudes are spooning
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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