the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize