she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize