I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
