I need help removing her.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
how drunk are you?
Several
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
