I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
