I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
