Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
