that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize