Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Still dying that you shit outside
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
