I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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