absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Randomize
