You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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