I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
