why didn't you poke me back
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
