hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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