Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I AM VODKA MAN
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize