oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
