What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
