But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
