im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
