is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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