"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
