I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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