she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize