yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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