You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
