yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Don't make out with my wife yet
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
