I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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