im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think I sprained my soul last night
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
