I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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