need another drink. this is the easiest way
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
