Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
