i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
