can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
