Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
