He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
