Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
