im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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