There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
