im holly from the hills drunk
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
