Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize