Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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