that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
