Don't you send me to vm
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I skipped work to stalk him.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
