I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
