You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize